Every day of the last few weeks, we hear a story about a group of people who decided to choose a random road or street somewhere in Lebanon and close it by burning tires – yes, anyone can close roads in Lebanon. Every day, other people were talking about those people and about their ‘achievement’, so I thought : is it a good thing or a bad thing? At first, I was convinced that it was indeed a bad thing, but I was changing my opinion a little bit daily. I am now sure that burning tires in Lebanon is a very good thing for many reasons.
1. Getting on TV
Did you notice how behind every great reporter is an idiot who wants to be on TV? It’s every human’s dream, and by burning tires in Lebanon, you can be sure that you are going to be on TV at 8 PM. It always works and I think we all have to try it once in our life. No one can deny how cool it is. Why work hard or study much if you can be famous only from burning a tire? I just found the fastest way to fame in Lebanon!
2. It’s Fun!
Unlike most of the countries in the world, we have the right to burn tires! It’s legal and doesn’t take you to jail. It’s original and unique! It’s hot and dangerous! It’s what Lebanese like: trying new crazy dangerous activities. You can be kicked out of a nightclub if you behave badly, but if you burn tires on roads, you are the one who kicks everyone out. You are the man of the night.
3. It’s Cool
Open your facebook friends list, if you don’t have a friend smoking in his profile picture, then you either don’t have friends or are not Lebanese. It’s easy: if you smoke, you are cool. If not, you aren’t. Another trend is that the more you smoke, the cooler you are. Arguileh is cooler than cigares. Cigares are cooler than cigarettes. But what if I tell you that there is something even cooler? You probably guessed what it is by now. Burning tires is even better! There is nothing better than super polluting the air around you, so let’s do it. The larger is the cloud of smoke you create, the cooler you are. Plus you have the chance of stepping out of the smoke like artists in huge concerts. It’s a party, it’s your night. Impress everyone.
4. Meeting people
Burning tires is also a good way of meeting new friends. When you burn tires, you can be sure that at least five super genius people like you are going to join you and party with you. You get to meet them and the meeting grows at an exponential rate. Friends of your new friends will join you and you’ll have the greatest smoke party ever on the road in front of everyone. (Yes, smoke parties are the new foam parties 😉 )
PS: This article is super sarcastic. People who burn tires are illiterate retarded people. Don’t do it. Now read again this article by replacing “fame” by “super shame”, “cool” and “genius” by “retarded”.