People stop thinking and the ship starts sinking…

As a common Lebanese, the bar scene is very important, it is where you HAVE to be to have a social life. It is the ideal place “ta to2tof” (local slang which implies picking up girls) and to get drunk. In Lebanon, bars are localized in certain regions, in Beyrouth for instance you have: Monot (the  dying bar scene), gemmayze ( the local bar scene), hamra ( the growing bar scene). In these bars you see girls who are dressed at their very best; 20 cm heels, short dresses, and freshly done “brushing”… As for the boys they are all extremely ripped with tight muscles (probably because they did about 100 push-ups before they came). These boys and girls come in groups to various bars, but in every bar you can spot these very same sections of people:

1-The WOO Group: (quoting “how I met your mother”) It is the group of persons (mostly girls) who are at that bar since the beginning of the happy hour, order mostly shots and scream an ear drum breaking WOOOOO before they take every shot. They want to be heard, they want to be seen, and that is why they want us to feel their presence.

2-The Loner: It is a guy who spends his entire evening at the corner of the bar with his eyes glued to his iPhone, playing some ridiculous game.

3-The Wannabe Bouncers: It is usually 2 or 3 guys with very muscular bodies who sit at the bar with their beers and just look around as if they have it all under their control, and if there is a “mashkal” they are the first to intervene. They also think that girls will approach them instantly just like the fish approache the bait, but what they are missing is that girls aren’t as dumb as fish (for some females this hypotheses is debatable).

4-The H.R. Person (The Human Resources Person): It is the guy who spends his entire night on his blackberry trying to get more of his friends to join his group, he usually fails miserably.

5-The Bartender’s Friend: he/she is usually with 2 of his/her friends, they get free shots all night long which makes the WOO group jealous, this group of people is always there with the only purpose of making everyone look at them. They are like the WOO group, only they pay less.

6-The Hitter: drunk, alone, tireless, young are the words that describe the hitter. He is someone who is VERY drunk, hits on every girl he sees, always getting rejected, dances alone all night long and tries to blend in a group. He is someone that is constantly laughed at because “manno mwaffa2” or “t2a5ar el mawsam chway “. He attracts the laughter of the wannabe bouncers as his dance moves are anything but good. He ends up the night by going home alone and fantasizing about a girl he saw and dreams of getting.

7-The Bartender Flirter: it is someone who is sitting alone at the bar, but not as pathetic as the loner or the hitter or the wannabe bouncers, he/she is constantly ordering drinks for the only purpose of getting more chance to speak to the bartender. It is a method that has a low to medium chance of working. But when it does, that person is usually making out with the bartender during his working hours and that is making the WOO group jealous because there is a delay in their order. When it doesn’t work, this person usually passes out at the bar.

8-The Birthday Boy/Girl: it is a group of people who come to a bar to celebrate this person’s birthday; they do not hold much interest in this analysis of the Lebanese night life since they are practically transparent except when the cake comes!!

9-The Pick-Upper: just like the loner, this person hits on every girl in the bar but with a much higher success rate, he is the one French kissing every girl in the WOO group. Or when the bartender is a hot girl, he can focus all his mojo on her and so he will be undermining the bartender flirter. This person is being envied by every dude in the bar and so they insult him and his mother and his sister.
Note: A person like this is not present at every bar, he/she is very rare.

10-The First Timers:  It is a group of 15-16 year olds who want to experience the teenage nightlife. They start by ordering the only thing they know; which is beer then they move on to a more serious drink; vodka. They are trying to make an impression, to leave a mark, but the only mark they’ll be leaving is their puke on the ground, and then they will just go to sleep bowing their heads on their vodka covered table and dreaming of a story to tell their parents because they were up late.

11-The High Rollers: A large group of persons (mostly boys) who occupy a huge part of the bar. From the moment they come in, they order “dazinit 2anene vodka” just to get the night started, and then a bottle of the cheapest champagne there is (Ethiopia’s finest).they get the attention of the entire bar since one of them is the screamer ( character who will be developed later). They finish the night drifting with their infinity.

12-The Drunks:
-Boy: it is a dude who belongs to the high rollers, he probably drank a full bottle of vodka by himself ( sec of course) he dances on the bar, creeping everybody out, raising his hands and shaking them as if he wants to fly. He ends up the night falling from the bar and taken home by one of his friends.
-Girl: it is someone who belongs to the WOO group, she dances at the bar as well (p.s. she is not trying to fly) moving her body in every way giving every guy an erection. She then falls into the arms of one of her admirers, and then picks-up the dancing.

13-The Creepy Old Dude: NO DESCRIPTION AVAILABLE

14-The Screamer: he belongs to the high rollers, his mouth has been surgically removed and replaced by a megaphone. When the right dose of alcohol is in his system he turns his inhuman machine on and screams from the top of his lungs a very familiar sound to the Lebanese ear; YALLA YALLA OUHH OUHH YALLA YALLA OUHH OUHH …everyone notices his presence somehow annoying, he is the tip of the iceberg of wazwaza, still everyone joins in for an unknown reason.

Finally we can say that the Lebanese nightlife is different from other countries, yet the same. Every bar or pub has these persons, you may not know them, you may be them, or you may hate them, but they are here and there is nothing we can do about it. But you cannot deny their existence.

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Comments on: "14 People You Always See At Bars" (1)

  1. Excellent!

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