As I walk down the street I look up at the sky to admire its beauty, or at this building which heard all the whispers of the pedestrians and holds scars of the civil war, and behind each scar lays an interesting and compelling drama. I also glance at this tre…OH FUCK!!! I stepped in shit ! Who lets their dog take a shit in the middle of the sidewalk?
It is no secret that the Lebanese love pets, most of them have cats or dogs but some of them even have monkeys and some are ready to bring home a gorilla just to be out of the ordinary; since the goal of most Lebanese is to be different from the social and common mold.
It is no secret that I am an animal lover, and specifically a dog person, but I do not encourage the Lebanese people to have dogs. It is a huge responsibility that they are not ready to bear. All they want is something to cuddle or “ta yetsallo el wled”.
When a Lebanese family acquires a dog they directly get a Filipina maid, and in holidays the kennel makes offers such as: with every German Sheppard you get a maid for free. This Filipina’s only purpose is to “walk” the dog. Nothing more, nothing less. But even she fails at her job, as soon as she gets out of that elevator she goes to a shop to make an international call and hang out with her buddies. if you are wondering how she found out where her pals are, they sent her a whatsapp message on her iphone 4S which has 3G.
It seems that the dog is the victim in all of this. The previous statement is false; the dog is like a king. In Europe, people have to pick up the dog’s shit. Even in the darkest times of human history slaves didn’t have to carry their master’s poop. Did dogs take over the world and we didn’t see it? It seems that these assholes have conquered us with their shit.
But in Lebanon we will not submit to their rules, we will step on their shit as a sign of protest whether it is on the street or on a Persian carpet. We will step on it and step on it well. That is what I have been doing for the past 20 years, constantly stepping on shit as I walk in the streets. First I was ashamed but now I am honored to serve my country and the human race.
May we be led by idiots but never by dogs.